TIPS FOR IMPROVING LISTENING SKILLS
Tips for Listening –
Leadership Skill
The basic of leading is to have a
very constructive communication with the persons you want to lead. It is simply
not possible to be a great leader without being a great communicator. This
partially accounts for why we don’t encounter great leadership more often. The
big miss for most leaders is that they fail to understand that the purpose of
communication is not to message, but to engage – THIS REQUIRES LISTENING. Don’t
be fooled into thinking that being heard is more important than hearing. The
first rule in communication is to seek understanding before seeking to be
understood. Communication is not a one way street. Great leaders, never miss an
opportunity to listen. In fact, they aggressively seek out new and better ways
to listen.
In the previous blog we discussed
the other benefits of listening skills. Here we will be looking into the skills
for becoming a better listener.
Tips of becoming better
listener
Listen with an open mind. - Be ready to hear and consider all sides of
an issue. This does not mean that we
have to agree with what is being said, but rather that we must avoid
defensiveness. Another way to think of
it is to go into an interaction ready to consider new viewpoints and ideas.
Don’t listen to have your opinions validated or your ego stroked, listen to be
challenged and to learn something new. You’re not always right, so stop
pretending you know everything and humble yourself to others. If you desire to
be listened to, then give others the courtesy of listening to them.
Silent Words. - People say as much (if not
more) with their actions, inactions, body language, facial expressions, etc.,
as they do with their verbal communications. Don’t be lured into thinking that
because someone is not saying something means that they’re not communicating.
In fact, most people won’t overtly verbalize opposition or disagreement, but
they will almost always deliver a very clear message with their non-verbals.
Don’t get into Stereo-typing, avoid the noise. - Don’t
allow a stereotype–either negative or positive–to influence your listening.
Conventional wisdom of judging a book by its cover, leads many a time to carry
a baggage of prejudice and biasness.
. Appearance can be a major
factor, and not everyone is blessed with dashing good looks. Beyond appearance,
we should also spend some time coming to peace with the fact that there are
different personalities, styles, and levels of ability. One should be able to
separate the noise which can clout our understanding.
Listen for opportunity.- Intuitive listeners are looking for the story
behind the message, and the opportunity beyond the issue. Listening is about
discovery, and discovery doesn’t only impact the present, but it can also
influence the future.
Ask questions to clarify the message. - This
is a positive way to show someone that you are listening. I’m a high school teacher, so I know that
makes me biased in this regard, but I believe the ability to ask questions is
so important that we’ll be looking at it in great detail in the third part of
this series. Sometimes asking a good question is more important than knowing
the answer.
Don’t Dive in. - Pay
attention for the “turn taking” signals that are normally a part of the flow of
conversation. Suppressing the urge to
voice our thoughts and opinions the moment they form makes us better
listeners. At the root of this struggle
we’ll often find our ego: we believe what we have to say is more important than
what they have to say. However, whether
we intend it to or not these interruptions devalue their message and it is
often rude and offensive. It’s not that
we can’t share what we have to say, but we must train ourselves to wait until
the appropriate time to do so.
Sharpening our listening skills
is relatively easy to begin practicing since most of it is based on knowing
what constitutes good listening and what doesn’t. Remember: listening is not a passive process,
so all of the techniques above are active, including the ones that are not
visible to the speaker.
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